Feeling very lost .... AGAIN .....
#98722 - 08/16/04 03:15 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
Okay, I've had postpartum depression for like... 3 years now( two babies) and am JUST coming out of it. I was feeling well, although gained weight this winter. I lost 9 pounds and worked my BUTT OFF to get it off. I checked the scale today and found what I suspected .. I gained half of it back. I'm so discouraged and depressed. My brother in law's wedding is in September and I wanted to look nice for the pictures. What a letdown. I know it's material and that I'm there is what counts, but why do I feel so horrible? I've been having panic attacks (which I think are OCD related ... I'm also dealing with that). I'm not a large person by any means.. I'm within the normal BMI... but I feel awful. I don't even know if I'm making any sense.
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Han,
What a terrible way to feel! I used to feel like losing weight was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I went from about 10 pounds too heavy to normal, but it seemed like once I lost the weight, I was obsessed with it! Before I lost it, I felt fine about myself. (I lost the weight without trying.)
If your BMI is still normal, then I'm sure you look fine to the rest of the world. Find yourself a figure-flattering outfit, play up your assets, and try not to worry about it. In fact, maybe accept that this is your new normal (or not... up to you). If nothing else, remember that no one else will notice a few pounds!
Feel better soon!
--------------------
Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Three cheers for coming out of the PPD! That is wonderful. To finally feel normal is great. Three years is too long to deal with it. I remember how it felt to come out of it. Words can not describe the feeling.
Your making total sense on the weight issue. I gained 50 lbs with my first and 6 months later my brother got married. Luckily his wife had so many sister's I didn't have to worry too much about my size. I tried to avoid all pictures at the time though, not successfully. I have to admit I was very happy at the time and felt wonderful.
I only gained 20lbs with my second since I only lost maybe 10lbs of the 50lb from my first. I lost all but 5 lbs of that 20 lbs by my 6 weeks checkup. I went back 3 months later for my annual and guess what? I gained 10 lbs and I was actually exercising. I decided to forget exercising since it was actually stressing me out.
I wouldn't worry about, what is it, 4.5 lbs. Seriously it just might be one of those funny times where the scale is bad. Stay away from scales. They are evil. Say that with me, evil scale. I had a bad run in with the one at the dr. today. I hate it. How are your clothes fitting? I'm sure you will look beautiful for the wedding. Maybe you gained muscle. What do you think?
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Seriously, it's pure weight. I feel it on my hips, my waist and I can see it in my face. It's there. But you look so beautiful! I don't look like that.
Thank you for your encouraging words, though.
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I don't know if this will help... but since my IBS has gotten worse I've lost so much weight. And not in a good way, I was thin to begin with. So to everyone around me it's obvious that something must be wrong since I've lost a lot of weight quite suddenly (10lbs over 6 months). And I'm a super private person and only my close friends and family know about my IBS.
So I see weight loss as a big negative and a sign of my IBS. If you've gained a few extra pounds - good for you! It means that you can eat more than a few items and the IBS probably isn't getting the best of you. Don't be so hard on yourself, please. 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey HS,
Don't be so down on yourself. If you are in range of your BMI then you should be OK.
Would it help to get a new outfit for the wedding to enhance one of your good features? Also, maybe a new hairdo or highlights might help you feel better. When I get down sometimes new makeup picks me up. Maybe play up the eyes or lips, etc. Hope one of these ideas helps you feel better.
Personally, I am dealing with losing too much weight. I was obsessed with weighing myself to see if I gained a pound. Everyone was always saying, "My, you have lost weight" which didn't make me feel any better. If I had my choice I would rather have a few extra pounds. I have finally gained some and feel better about myself. I guess we all go periods when we get down on ourselves. 
Try to concentrate on the good things in your life and maybe that will help you get out of the dumps. Like....the children in your pic are absolutely precious!
BTW, I don't know what OCD is but there are meds for panic attacks.. I get them, too.
Feel better soon
Barbie
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Honey, 4 pounds is NOTHING. I bet it's more in your head than on your hips! I managed to gain 12 pounds on HONEYMOON!
Anyway, losing 4lbs by the wedding is definitely possible. Have you ever done WeightWatchers? IT's the only thing that works for me (I like my food WAY too much). And with the wedding in your mind, I bet you'll be really good at counting your points! Beware of exercising too much (not that I guess you have that much time with a 3 year old!) - I always just gain muscle and my weight goes up!!! But walking and yoga are GREAT. And they should help prevent the panic attacks.
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking, why don't I EVER listen to my own advice?????  Must do some yoga today.
Anyway...congrats on beating the PPD. You have had a hard slog haven't you? Makes me wonder why I get so depressed at NOT having a baby? 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Han, I'm so sorry to hear you feeling troubled. You have been such a ROCK on this board and have helped me SO MUCH!! I never suspected you were battling depression like that. My sister went through it post partum too so I know it's really tough. And panic attacks too? You poor sweetie.
Now here's my take. Depression is not just a mental illness. It's a severe physical illness too. If you had just had major surgery or were overcoming cancer, you'd know you had a long convalesence ahead of you when you'd be weak and tired and would have to rest a lot and build up your strength gradually. Same with depression. You've JUST come out of it. The residual effects are still there. It distorts how you think and how you feel about yourself. So you are ENTITLED to feel awful, it is completely NORMAL that you feel awful, and the good news is that if you just hang in there you will DEFINITELY feel better. This too shall pass. I'm SO glad to hear you're dealing with your panic attacks. That's also just from your brain chemistry being messed up temporarily.
One other thought, I know you said it's a real gain, not just the scale being out of whack, but could it be water weight related to your period? My weight always goes up and down several pounds during the month.
Final thought -- they make some GREAT tummy trimmers out there. Check out onehanesplace.com for outlet prices!!
Feel better sweetie, and thanks for sharing your troubles with us and giving us a chance to support you the way you've supported us for so long!!!
--------------------
Laura
Keep it simple!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh Sweeite, I'm sorry your feeling so blue! I don't know what ppd is like, I'm still trying to have a baby! But, I do struggle with depression and panick attacks AND weight! A couple of years ago, I REALLY worked hard and lost almost 40lbs! I got down to a size 6! I was a 16! Well, over the last, the weight has crept back up and I'm now a size 12. I gave away all may old clothes and felt terrible about having to but all new clothes again. But, I did find some cute clothes and I'm trying to accept the fact that not everyone can be skinny! I know its hard and depressing, I wish I could say more to help! We all love you if that counts for anything! 
--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
