Stigma-ed by IBS, eating disordered label
#98024 - 08/13/04 09:33 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I can really relate to what Vicam posted about her doctors:
Vicam said:
Quote:
Sadly, they're sort of treating me like an eating disorder case, which makes me really mad because I asked for help so many times from the other doctors, and was upfront about what I was and wasn't eating, and none of them helped me, and eating disorder people generally hide it.
[Nelly jumps up and gasps: YES! I CAN RELATE!]
Thank you Vicam, so much for your post.
Did any of you have this in your late teens or early twenties, and were handled like you had an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia? How do you overcome that with your loving, well-meaning supporters?
I had the hardest time when I was 19 and had my night IBS-D attacks. I quit college and moved home because of them. I couldn't keep anything in my system and would emerge half-starved from a night of constant explosive D with ravenous hunger. During the day, I just wanted to eat whatever was around to get rid of the sucking, empty feeling in my gut, even though I knew that I'd get sick as a dog as a result.
When my first doc (evil GI man) saw me, he made the armchair analysis in 10 minutes that I must be bulimic.
I have to admit that if it isn't happening to you, it's hard to explain it to someone without it sounding like bulimia. It didn't help my case that I was young and underweight (so no credibility), and had all this anxiety and stress from the IBS and loss of sleep. And it was being explained to him by my mother, who although meaning well, just didn't have all the facts.
I actually had this first doc tell my mom to report to him if I showed "any more" signs of bulimia… and it didn't do anything for my credibility with my mom, I'll tell you that.
To this day she doesn't believe that I have IBS, even though I've had my recent doc sit her down and tell her that IBS was what is causing this behavior. I'm 33, and it's like I'm 19 and in that first doctor's office.
It doesn't help my case that these "signs" actually help me: hypervigilance, monitoring food intake, eating at home, being close to a bathroom, talking about "triggers," etc...
~nel~
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I can relate in a way too. My MIL thinks I'm overstating my illnesses (fibro and IBS), that I'm too self-absorbed, and that spending time on these boards reinforces my illness, preventing my getting better. Her solution?? I should get out more, go to the museum, develop other interests. Hey, if all it takes to cure us is to go to a museum, we could make a fortune here -- talk about a miracle cure!! Whaddya say, shall we form a business and start peddling MIL's cure to the masses??!! Or maybe we could just license it to Heather and Will!!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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I'm only 21, but I'm also a very small person, so people assume I have an eating disorder. It was really hard my senior year of high school when I developed IBS and didn't want to eat, or couldn't eat certain things, and people began to think I was anorexic. It's actually gotten better since I've been in college, I have very supportive friends, and my parents understand more now that my mom and my youngest brother (he's 15) have developed IBS in the past year. It used to be that my mom would never understand what I could and couldn't eat, and would have family gatherings with food I couldn't eat, then yell at me for not eating. Now she understands and it's much better.
But I completely commiserate on the eating disorder accusation, though it was never a doctor. *hugs*
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Oh, thanks so much for the hug!
My mom makes me food when I visit her, and it's so hard for me because I pick around the plate, eating what I can. She completely emotionally blackmails me with food, asking my why I don't finish...she went through all that trouble to make it, etc.
Tell your mom she rocks!!!
~nel~
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OMG, I have heard all of those "suggestions" before!! The museum obvoiusly has some elusive miracle cure, hiding in the egyptian exhibits somewhere...!
You've cheered me up, LS!! 
~nel~
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My mom can't understand my eating situation either although I've explained it till I'm blue in the face. I'm middle aged & she is very old. She thinks I'm just picky or overdramatizing this whole thing. I know my IBS is related to other things like anxiety etc & she said to me the other day, "for someone so young, you sure have a lot of things wrong with you" in that tone like it's all in my imagination. It's very hurtful to me but what can I do.
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I usually say I'm in an IBS support group which I feel this is. We don't have to see each other face to face to help each other. 
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Nel, that's it, it must be the mummy dust!! Ewww.
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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I kid you not, my boyfriend says, "For someone so healthy-looking, you sure have a lot of things wrong with you." I gasped when I read your mother's quote, Crampgirl. It's almost the same. Unbelievable.
~nel~
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LauraSue you haven't had D for many months. How can MIL say the board isn't helping you. You are doing an incredible job controlling your IBS with diet change, plus you have helped so many other people.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
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