seriously considering leaving my job!
#238078 - 01/12/06 04:45 PM
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hawkeye
Reged: 06/16/03
Posts: 705
Loc: NYC
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This is on my mind constantly and I thought I'd post to see if any of you had feedback. Its kind of long, and hopefully not too whiney. Thanks in advance for listening!
I've been a teacher for 10 years now (1-8th grade music) and I'm coming face to face with a few things that I can't ignore anymore:
1. As much as I feel good at what I do (and grateful to have a job where I can help others), I never felt it was good for me. Teaching kids has always stressed me out so much, even on a good day, I go home wound up, short of breath, and exhausted.
2. If I were to work from home at least part of the time, it would better suit me - I'm a great homebody and enjoy working at home, and also hopefully would lower my stress and therefore my ibs.
3. I hated school all my life, and the same things that bothered me as a kid, bother me more as an adult! The insistance on uniformity, the compartmentalized learning, I could go on but I won't here!
4. I need to feel I'm being more creative in my work.
5. I'm tired of being tired every day.
6. I need to be in a job where I feel I'm helping people but it would be great if it was something more flexible, and where I was working one on one or in small groups.
I'm a little hesitant to post this since I know at least one of you is looking for a teaching job and thats what I'm complaining about having! I'm not ungrateful for what I have. I try, even now as I'm thinking about leaving, to work very hard and to be thankful for having a good job. On the other hand, I feel like not listening to my body and not listening to what I'm learnign about how I function best.
I may not leave, I have a baby girl, and can't afford to just quit and figure it out. I'll have to work hard to line up other work before I can make the decision.
I'm actually finishing up a training in Feldenkrais method, I'll be a certified practitioner this spring. But as its not something that many ppeople have even heard of, I will probably build a practice over several years. In the meantime, I am thinking of: some combination of a few things such as teaching part time, and private music lessons. Opening up a web-business (very risky I know), opening up my own music school, doing school performances with some friends (this pays surprisingly well but isn't exactly working from home)
Any ideas? Get rich quick schemes? (this reminds me, there's a teacher in my school who last year was trying to get many of us to join a pyramid scheme she was a part of!)
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Hey, I completely understand! I left a job teaching English at a small college in town because I couldn't deal with the stress on my stomach. I just was so exhausted all the time, and it was taking way too much out of me.
Don't judge yourself by others' standards! You have to do what's best for yourself in the end! Only you know if you've had enough.
There's always professional gambling. Or selling yourself in bits for medical research. How about alpaca farming? 
~nelly~ 
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well I certainly wouldn't have much competition around here on that one!
Thanks for the idea, but I won't be mentioning that one to my wife when she worries about $ for next year!
Dan
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Whoa!
#238099 - 01/12/06 05:45 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Well, Hawkeye, I'm speaking from experience, having worked steadily, non-stop, full-time, for 40 years, finally retiring 5 years ago.
All my office jobs were stressful, every damn one. Each time I went on to the next job, I was sure it would cause me less stress on myself. Silly me. That was NEVER the case. I was ALWAYS tired, ALWAYS bringing the job home, constantly worrying about every piece of paper that had crossed my desk that day. It's just a part of working.
My IBS "hit" me in 1980, after I had worked for 20 years. Each job after that was "less stressful" (I thought), until I couldn't take it any more and finally retired.
It was THEN that my IBS got outta control -- AFTER I retired and was supposedly financially secure. Come to find out, my stress had absolutely nothing to do with the work environment, but everything to do with the pressures I put on MYSELF.
Working out of your home is not as stress-free as one would like to believe. You have the constant concern of "bringing in the money," ultimately ending up putting in more time on the computer than you ever did in your old job. When I retired, I worked out of my home initially, so I know what I'm talking about.
Are you sure you aren't unhappy with your job for some other reason than what you've stated? The last job I had was very much "beneath" me. My employer told me so; in fact, he didn't want to hire me because of it. I assured him I wanted that job because I knew I COULD handle it well and thus be stress-free. Well, it turned out my boss was right; I was bored silly. I would have hated that job had it not been for one thing: I had a little talk with myself. I sat down and said to myself, "Self, you can either be bored at this job and hate it, OR you can make the most of it by being THE BEST that Max ever hired." And that's what I did. I made myself invaluable, or so I would like to believe, becoming the BEST at that job than anyone he'd ever had, and in the end, when I left, it was very satisfying to look back and know that I ended my career extremely successfully.
What you are doing -- molding the minds of young children -- is very important; just knowing what you are doing for them has to be satisfying, certainly far more so than what I did in the law office.
I believe so many of our jobs are what we make of them; it's up to us.
I hope you can find a way of seeing an enrichment in your teaching. It's a very admirable profession and one you should be proud of.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Re: Whoa!
#238102 - 01/12/06 06:02 PM
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hawkeye
Reged: 06/16/03
Posts: 705
Loc: NYC
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Yes, all of what you said is part of what I wonder about. And yes I certainly do value teaching as a profession. So far in the years I've been out of college, my best times ibs-wise were the 2 years I worked p/t as a teacher and p/t tutoring.
One option would certainly be to just learn to appreciate what I have, because its not in any way a bad job. One would be a job nearer to home (I have an hour commute on the subway) and hopefully at a school whose philosphy I agreed with more. My school is very traditional and religious, I am neither. Or I may still figure out a new way to earn money, I'll see. Thanks for your comments I'm still in the brainstorming phase about this and really appreciate hearing people's views.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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You know as well as I do that a burned out teacher is not doing any good for the students. A music teacher has one of the hardest jobs in the world!I truly believe that. And I know so many stress out music teachers that....just need a sabbatical!
But if you are not philosophically on that page, then you DO need to leave! It's all about heart, not curriculum, right? 
Definitely don't leave cold, of course, but if you have a piano at home(as if you don't!!) then why not do privte lessons? I'm sure you could charge a pretty penny! And you could do a kindermusic thing too, where I'm sure you could host 5 kids a time 5 days a week-sure,t ere'd be prep too but it'd be good and you could be with your little baby!!
just from one pedagog on the way in to one who needs a break from the mundane!
Good luck, I know it must be a tough feeling.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Hey, You're the one I was afraid would read my post!!! I felt lame posting a complaint about my teaching job when I know you're dying for one!
Thanks for your kind reply. Its true that while I don' thave to do as much homework as classroom teachers in terms of grading, my teaching is really energy and planning intensive. I don't have the down time that classroom teachers have, when the class is reading, taking a test, watching a video, etc. I'm ALWAYS front and center leading the class. Also there's no text book to follow, I create my curriculum. Its definitely hard on bad ibs days or more often days after hard ibs nights.
Anyway thanks for your reply. I may simply go over to private lessons like you suggest. I make $60 an hour with kids (considered a bargain around here i'm told!) and at the moment turn away students because i just can't take on anymore work. So I think i could pretty easily make the same as what I earn teaching.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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I feel your pain. I have been teaching for six years, and I love my job, but it definitely stresses me out. Just yesterday, though, I was sitting in a car with a bunch of my coworkers, and I realized that it stresses ALL of us out. For better or worse, it's the nature of the beast.
I also agree with what Bev said, though. I put pressure on myself to excel, so I could probably find a way to stress myself out working any job imaginable! If you have that personality, you will probably still feel stressed.
Still, I totally sympathize. I'm in a place of realizing how bad my profession has been for my health, but I also realize that I need to make more time for balance. It's really a goal of mine this year.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Oh, and I totally agree with you that being "on" all the time is exhausting, but so is grading papers! 
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I'm subbing a ton, and my big break will happen very soon, I can feel it.
And either way, i know I'll be in it for life. heck, if I loved my special ed class, and they are just as intensive as music teaching(aka no such thing as independent study!) then I know I'm meant for the classroom.
and you're not whining. Other than it being teaching, it is a whole different world. I've subbed music. it is draining, esp when you create your own curric, and decide who plays what on the recorder...And hello! You LISTEN to recorder all day!LOL!
Private ounds way better for you. you'll get the money, and get to be that wounded artist like I know all musicians are(wink wink) I played violon for a few years...and you get that privacy that really, public musicians don't get!(Ok, now I'm sort of poking fun, you're not Kurt cobain) But really, when you have music going through your head every day, why not narrow it down to a beautiful melodious instrument that you can totally not destroy by blowing too hard?
Just thoughts for you. Hugs and best of luck.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Jeepers huh? Well, thanks for the support! You're right it is tough AND you're right that there are other teaching jobs just as hard. Its looking more and more attractive to teach privately - actually it sounds REALLY great! And yes I'd have more time to practice, and hopefully not be a 'tortured' artist, but also not be TORTURED by recorders. Still, a steady pay check and baby are a good combination, so I have to have a good plan before I take the plunge. I'll keep mulling it over - its what I do best!
Dan
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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