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Hi Ruchie, well i hope the penny drops for you real soon that none of it is in any way your fault, and that you have no reason to hate or punish yourself, that you should be loving and looking after yourself!
You must make that decision and now, don't do the "one day i will", make the decision now and make positive steps towards re-claiming your life!
Reminds me of something your Dr.Phil said..."treat emotional issues emotionally, not with food" or something pretty close to that. Now I'm not a Dr. Phil devotee or anything but sometimes he says things that really hit the nail on the head.
All the best
R
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You make it sound so simple...
Here's my plan:
I am going to the store tomorrow. I will buy myself a journal. A BEAUTIFUL one! And I will write in it if I want to eat.
I will set a timer for 15 minutes if I have the urge to eat. During that time I will drink water and do an activity, ie wash dishes, walk the dog, write in my journal...if I am HUNGRY I will eat. If not, I will set the timer for another 15 minutes and re-evaluate until I AM hungry...
I will call a friend for support if I need it instead of grabbing a bite.
I will be KIND to myself.
Too much food hurts me and my health. They do NOT deserve to hurt me anymore (never did really)!
Thanks again...I have a plan now! I'm armed and ready!!!! 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Reporting in for yesterday..
Breakfast: Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bar
Snack: 3/4 cup of applesauce (peach and mango flavour). About 5 mini rice cakes, caramel flavour.
Lunch: Four torilla wrap with tiny amount of ICBINB and some salsa, with fajita spiced chicken (deli meat). Small cup of chopped peaches, juices drained. Handful of pretzel sticks. 3 red licorice strips.
Snack: I got lost on my way home, and stopped at a 7-11 for Directions.. Got an Orange slurpee and TWO chocolate bars!! I won the second one, but STILL!! Bad Stephanie!!  It gets worse, because I ate them both over the next several hours! Very, very bad!!
Dinner: Felt pretty sick from the chocolate and slurpee, took Adrian to Subway. I got one of the kids sandwiches, turkey with light mayo and sweet onion sauce.
Drinks: About six cups of water and 4 cups of herbal tea.
Didn't count calories, but assuming it was pretty bad 'cause of the chocolate!!
I am still having a hard time accepting that I have to cut back on carbs, not doing too well with that yet,but trying!
Cheers guys!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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GO Ruchie!
#171463 - 04/19/05 12:33 PM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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Good luck with the journal, you sound very organised.
When I am about to comfort eat I try to stop and think if I really need whatever it is I am about to eat. Then I think of the shame of reporting it and I stop!
Good luck!
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S.
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OK... here is my reporting in......
My BMR = 2083 + I burned 1115 calories (12 minutes on Elliptical, Turbo Kick Boxing) - 730 less calories to get to my goal = 2468 calorie food budget.
TURBO KICK BOXING Pre-designed Kickboxing interval class using no equipment. Cardio section uses intensity drills and increased energy sprints followed by work recovery segments.
Breakfast (starting at 6am instead of 8:30-9am) : 195 calories cup Toasted Mini Bagel , 1/2 cup unsweetened Applesauce, 9 Scrambled Egg White (= 3 eggs) & Water
Snack: 180 calories Choc Peppermint Luna Bar & Water
Snack: 50 calories 1/2 cup Unsweetened Applesauce & Water
Snack: 170 calories Toasted Nutz N Cranberry Luna Bar & Water
Snack: 50 calories 1/2 cup Unsweetened Applesauce & Water
Lunch (around 2:30pm is a normal time for me): 395 calories 3oz Mini Tuna w/Light Mayo and Pickle on 1 Sliced French Bread, 3oz Tuna w/Light Mayo (using my pretzels as a spoon  ), 1 oz Pretzels & Water
Before Gym: 210 calories Soytein Energy Drink (Chocolate w/Vanilla Silk Soy Milk) & Water
At Gym: 0 calories just water
Dinner (between 8-8:30pm, after the gym): 480 calories 1-3/4 cup Green Beans, 1 cup Basmati Rice w/ICBINB Spray, 4oz Atlantic Salmon....Heat small fry pan.... with Pam (I used Butter flavor), you could use olive oil, but that will add more fat and cals. Put 4oz Atlantic salmon in pan skin side up, cook until brown, about 5 mins. Turn over, season as you like (salt, pepper etc... I just left it plain) add 1-1/2 tablespoons chicken or veg broth, (you could just use water and maybe a splash of soy sauce) cover cook another 5 mins. YUM! It tasted the it was from The Keg!!  & Water
Fiber Pills: 2.25 calories total
Total Water intake (goal 128oz)  = 80 oz
Total of 1732.25 .....still in my food budget
THIS WEEKS WORKOUT SCHEDULE (per my personal trainer)
MONDAY: Kickboxing
TUESDAY: Power Sculpt w/Heather + 30 mins cardio
WEDNESDAY: Circuit Train (weight machines), 3 times, 20 reps of each + 45 mins cardio
THURSDAY: 1 hour cardio + Abs
FRIDAY: Circuit Train (weight machines), 3 times, 20 reps of each + 30 mins cardio
SATURDAY: 1 hour w/Heather - Personal Trainer Session
SUNDAY: Off, but can go for a walk, nothing high impact....
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Quote:
Hmmm. Didn't log my foods and think I went overboard.  But the good thing about feeling dehydrated today is that I've drank LOADS of water and I don't always make my goal. Plus I think I got a good amount of protein. that is great Veggies wise it was diabolical. Also, exercise was nil.
I've been doing data entry work at home (one reason why no exercise) and my back is now sooo stiff! The rest of me's pretty achey too (reason two for no exercise today...I know it's bad but I just couldn't face being dragged round by Archie ). Gotta go take some painkillers and have a bath before bed methinks.
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Hello! Here is my check in for the day so far: great to see ya back!
coffee- 1
noodle soup- 3
ufo- 3
veggie soup- 1
veggie chicken- 8
brocolli- 0
ufo- 4
total: 20
Finally made my points total. Woo-hoo! I am back on the wagon. wwwwwoooooohhhhhhooooo!!!
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SOS SOS - I have GAINED another pound, so I am 135, I got down to 131 and started at 133 so I am not happy. So my new goal is to shed three pounds by Friday week- am going to be soo good! (have to be at this stage) Shocked into action! You just need to take a BIG DUMP!! LOL It's all that Bday cake.... it will come out!! LOL
Breakfast: small portion porridge with honey
Snack: Luna Bar, small banana
Lunch: baguette with tuna, coleslaw and tomato
Pre dinner snack: Rakusen's Herb and Onion 99% fat free crackers (SOOO yummy!) and Cauldron Foods Chickpea and Black Olive pate If you can get your hands on these do it, they are sooo yummy and a great low calorie safe snack. sounds yummy
Dinner: Honey Mustard Chicken with too much brown rice and some stirfry vegetables.
Activities: Walked to work- 3 miles in 35 minutes; took the stairs the whole way to the 7th Floor three times; Gym- did 20 mins bike, 8 mins rower, 12 mins treadmill at 6.5mph- total burned: 402 calories RIGHT ON!!
Water: 70 oz at least! good
The sums: BMR : 2282 plus 402 activities= 2684 less food= 2149= 535, 35 calories within my budget. yah!!
Comments:
I thought I had done better but my huge portion of rice and big roll at lunchtime instead of my usual sliced bread was almost 100 calories more. it adds up fast!! Also because I had so little porridge at breakfast I ate a banana and a luna bar before lunch. Am glad i did so much exercise,would be very unhappy to have gone over budget after so much exercise!
BACK ON TRACK You go girl!!
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I had about 7 cookies so far (about 650 cals right there) does not take much...., 2 servings of chips with cheese and sauce (I can't seem to stop eating cheese...), a can of stuffed peppers, a small pack of bamba snacks (Israeli peanut butter puffs), about 5 glasses tomato juice (at least I'm gong to the bathroom!), lotsa water--too much to count. I can't BELIEVE all the fat and junk I consumed 
I'm having a hard day. I am cleaning for Passover. We have to get rid of any spec of bread in the house (that's simplifying it really!) So I'm stressed.
I feel disgusting for what I'm eating. But it's comforting me through.
HELP!  PLEASE someone give me REBUKE! (Gently of course)  {{kick kick...gently....}}
Shell, I'm REALLY proud of you and your accomplishments! i wish I were as strong as you... I was not always this way...but once you can get your feet heading in the right direction on the right road it gets easier...sure there are lots of bumps... but there are also some really nice paved spots too!
P.S. Forgot my activity level! Shopping for over an hour with full cart. Cleaning for about 2 hours. The rest of the day dropping hubby here and there and a friend as well. Playing witht he dog (sitting and throwing her toy), at the computer for maybe 2 hours...and planning to clean/cook more the res of the day!
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Quote:
You make it sound so simple...
Here's my plan:
I am going to the store tomorrow. I will buy myself a journal. A BEAUTIFUL one! And I will write in it if I want to eat.
I will set a timer for 15 minutes if I have the urge to eat. During that time I will drink water and do an activity, ie wash dishes, walk the dog, write in my journal...if I am HUNGRY I will eat. If not, I will set the timer for another 15 minutes and re-evaluate until I AM hungry...
I will call a friend for support if I need it instead of grabbing a bite.
I will be KIND to myself.
Too much food hurts me and my health. They do NOT deserve to hurt me anymore (never did really)!
Thanks again...I have a plan now! I'm armed and ready!!!!
good luck sweetie!
--------------------
www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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