Ok everyone I REALLY need your help here!
#170627 - 04/17/05 04:04 PM
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I know you guys aren't therpaists and that this isn't OA...but OA didn't work for me (it depressed me), and I just feel sooo comfortable with you guys....so...
Here's the deal. I eat to stuff my feelings. I am an abuse survivor and I just beginning to heal.
I am wondering if anyone here has some advice on how to DEAL with the feelings instead of stuffing them down with food?
Yes, I am in therapy. However, she has not been available lately (I am hoping I will not need to stat wit someone else...but I might, we'll see), and she cannot be there to watch what I do/do not put in my mouth.
I need a plan!
And I need help figuring out a good # of cals to eat per day.
Everyone has been sooo helpful sending me to sites to figure out calories...but I'm too dense to use the sites correctly  i am still not getting it.
I KNOW I am eating way too much fat (I've been binging on cheese whihc I shouldn't be eating anyway cause it gives me sinus probs). So that has to go!
I need you guys to YELL at me if I don't post my food. E-mail too Ruchily@yahoo.com
I just really need help! I'm in a LOT of pain as I am learning that my parents could have stopped the abuse but chose not to. this is a VERY hard time for me. But eating is NOT the answer....and I DO NOT want to let my abusers win!
Thanks for reading and for any help/encouragement you can offer.
Sending you love and hugs, Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I don't have suggestions for the eating thing right at this moment because it's something I'm struggling with right now too... I'm a big-time "comfort eater" and it's just getting worse and worse, and I don't know what to do about it either!
*But*... I can figure out your BMR/calories for you, if you like, so I'm emailing you right now with what I need to know to do it. 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Hey Ruchie!
I actually am a therapist! but a child therapist.. so unfortunately I probably can't help you much! 
Anyways.. here are some ideas, which i'm sure you probably heard already from your therapist or friends but just in case you haven't...
if you feel like eating can you..
put up notes for youself.. like feel good inspiring notes on the fridge or cabinets to remind you NOT to eat. that way you'll notice them and take a step back.
doy ou have a journal to write down when you feel like you need to eat and why. then maybe you'll know what situations to avoid.. and which to devise alternatives for.
try reading, dancing, going for a walk, walking the dog instead of reaching for food.
hope this helps a little.
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Oh hon!
Do you have a diary? [Not a food/eating one - or combine them] I find writing about what's going on in my head can be really therapeutic.
And here's one thing I try when I'm eating even though I don't need to...I make myself have a full glass of water first. If I still feel food-needing afterwards then I'm allowed a bit. Doesn't always work, but helps.
Also...staying busy! Do LOTS of stuff with Shana. Dogs are great when you're going through cr*p...they listen to you, never repeat anything, make you get out of the house and need feeding so you can't spend your life in bed anyway! 
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I am a serious comfort eater too (when my parents separated I put on 28 pounds!)
Now what I do is I ask myself if I really need what I am about to binge on, if it will really make my problems go away. If the answer is no then I walk away, or try to. Its not easy Ruchie but you can do it.
I had a demotivated week at work last week and ate lots of rubbish, so now a week on I have gained another pound and feel much worse than I did.
I find going for a walk or keeping busy keeps me out of the biscuit tin, as does not having my worst comfort foods in the house at all (desperate times call for desperate measures)
Good luck with this, we are all here for you.
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S.
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