Anxious and angry-long post
#114433 - 10/20/04 04:41 PM
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It is a week until I go into Philly with my husband, girlfriend Donna and her husband Jeff. It is about an hours drive from where I live if there is no traffic or accidents on the Surekill(those of you who live here know what I mean). I didn't make the plans, my husband did, in fact I have been pushing this trip off nicely by saying oh, I can't then I won't be home, etc., etc. My girlfriend has been wanting to go to this museum for a long time and I HATE with a passion the city of Philadelphia. I grew up in Allentown almost halfway between Phila. and NYC. so if I want to go to a city the obvious choice is NY, and I've for the most part always had a great time there. Growing up when we went down to the shore how did we get there? The PA turnpike and the Schukull, the two worst roads to travel on if you need a bathroom, and there is not much wooded area to use, and as a child guess who always did? Oh and my all time horror story, "Dad, I have to really pee, we need to stop," "Okay will be on the Schukull for 5 min and there is a gas station on our exit." Well, 5 hours later, yes another accident which blocked both lanes, I am in tears and sick to my stomach. Where we were I couldn't pee on the side of the road w/o falling down the hill. And the handfull of times I've been in the city, it has pretty much sucked, car broken into, etc. I think you get my drift. After my husband says to Donna we should go sightsee on Halloween weekend! I get in the car and say, I am not ready for this yet(I have a history of panic attack = ibs attack, see my other posts). He said I had a feeling. Now I am soooooo mad I could literally hit him! I can already feel the nervous nelly butterflies in my belly and tomorrow I have to hope and pray my GP will give me some valium for the trip! I just want to get off of Mr. Toad's wild ride and be done with this anxiety, in fact I want to take Mr. Toad's car and run over and over Mr. Anxiety!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and the last time I was for a car ride with Donna, I had panic attacks and had D in an antique store! Thank God they had a bathroom! I don't think she really knows my situation, she knows about the IBS, should I tell her about the anxiety? Yes, I am in counseling, and on nortriptylene 50mg and listening to the tapes for a 2nd time and have been having a good few months of anxiety free living, now this  Any suggestions are more than welcome!
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IBS-D
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Wow...that's a lot to deal with.
I wonder if it's possible a different medication would be better for you. Some people on these boards have had great responses to the more modern meds. The one you are on is an older one. Maybe it's not doing all it could?
Also, is there any way you can opt out of these more stressful trips, even if your husband insists on going? Maybe you need to just scale back for a while and lower your expectations of yourself ... stay home, rent movies, go for walks, play boardgames, etc. It sounds like you may be trying to do to much given your current circumstances. Maybe in the future you will be able to take on more but for now a long stretch of lowkey may be the route to take.
If hubby wants to get out, can he do it without you occasionally? My husband does stuff without me and I am fine with that -- I just can't keep up sometimes -- and I have learned to accept that and not allow it to make me feel like a LOOOOOZER.
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Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I am so sorry your are having such a rough time with trip!! I wish I had some great insitefull advice for you!! I hope you get to have fun and enjoy it!!! Can you drive with just you and your husband!! Maybe that would help. I am sorry you dealing with this now when you have been doing so good!!!
Good Luck!!!
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Heather7476
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opt out and usually if it is just me and my husband I do fine or close to it, it is just I don't want to let anyone down, another topic I am dealing with. I think I just might tell my friend the situation and be done with it and if she thinks it is funny or whatever than she is not a friend. I have thought of trying newer drugs, but the nortriptylene cuts the majority (90%) of the "nervous signals" to my gut. I was on Celexa for a number of years and it really didn't help after the first year and I had numerous side effects. And I recently stop the Prozac weekly because once again it helped in the beginning than faded. I feel alittle better now that I got it off my chest, thanks.
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IBS-D
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I saw my GP and she was great and said no problem. So I filled my prescription for low dose Xanax. She also told me I should cancel the trip. Which might actually happen because I have this horrible head cold that is not going away, thanks in part to my little nephew. Who knew someone so cute can pass a nasty cold  I just wanted to thank everyone again for their suggestions!
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IBS-D
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Hey heather robin! Just wanted to chime in and say i relate. I am always the one driving on car trips, EXPRESSLY for the reason that this way I can pull over whenever I darn want to!!! Or we take 2 cars and I drive alone, no problem!!
I took a bus to Philly as a teenager, and had to knock myself out with benedryl to keep me calm for the ride. Funny coincidence, I too am going to be in Philly in a few weeks, and let me tell you, the place depresses me big time. I've also been through Allentown and I can see what you mean about that place.
Watch out for the xanax, tho. I come off of that stuff HARD, even after only taking it a couple of days. I don't feel right until after 5 days off the stuff. I get muscle cramps, am edgy and cry at the drop of a hat when I go off it. It's our generation's valium, so watch out.
~nelly~
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why do ya hate philly so much? I do not get to travel much, so it is the one city I actually get to go to once in awhile (closest big city to me), does it compare poorly to other big cities? Or do you just not like cities? I have been to New York and Baltimore (and DC a couple years ago) recently, I guess they are nicer but I didn't have lots of time to spend there.
just curious, want to see if I should be broading my horizons alittle more!
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-Sheri
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If you are "friendly to the idea" of taking medication, I'm prescribed Buspar, for anxiety. It's nonaddictive & rather effective. It basically affects one's mind, and is not a muscle relaxent. -tried Klonopin, once. -took one..., nothing. -took another right after..., nothing. Then, took two more..., nothing. Then..., flushed the rest down the toilet. Addictive drugs scared the heck out of me.
Anyway, just thought I'd pass on a suggestion for a good med. Since you take Nort..(is it also called "Pamelor?"), thought you would consider this... Some people avoid psych meds like the plague, due to the stigma. -quite ridiculous in this day and age.
Take care & hope your anxiety subsides. -know how disturbing it can be.
Bob.
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Life is transitory, love is not!
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as a rabbit!!! Doctors prescribe it to their patients taking anti-depressants to help improve their low sex drive. It didn't do anything for me as far as the anxiety goes. but it sure helped in the other department (wink, wink!)
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Buspar is a godsend! Drs. tried me on 3 different meds. (all addictive) for anxiety (by the way anxiety/stress is what caused the IBS-D to begin with) and I couldn't take a one of them. Finally put me on Buspar and it's been soooo helpful.
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