Worst case scenario...what would you do?
#103144 - 09/01/04 10:45 AM
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tam38
Reged: 06/28/04
Posts: 12
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Hello,
I have been doing some exercises with my therapist and one of them is to imagine terrible IBS-D situations and how I would go about handling them.
One of my most feared situtations is being stuck in a car or train for a long period of time w/ no bathroom in site. To make it even worse, if I was with a friend or work collegue that would make me feel even more embarassed. In this situtation, I start to feel really sick and then feel like I'm actually going to have D, but there is no bathroom for at least a 1/2 hour. Also let's say I get to the point where I can't hold it anymore after about 15 min.
I would love to hear suggestions or real experiences with this situation, thanks!
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When I was IBS D I had exactly the same kind of fears....lots of people on the boards can relate to what you're feeling.
Just remember....there's probably never gonna be a time when you can't find a washroom within 15 minutes. If you're on the subway...get off at the next stop and use the washroom at the station (they're usually disgusting but I'd choose that over my pants any day)...
If you're in the car...just stop at a restaurant, coffee shop, gas station, etc. If you're on the highway pull off at the next exit.
I know it's a lot easier said than done....but if you feel worried about not getting to a washroom in time just remind yourself that there are millions of toilets around you and you should be able to get to one of them if you have to within 10 minutes....
I find the more I panic about not being able to find a washroom the more I think I need one!! LOL
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It happened to me where I was on a highway with rest stops far apart or rest stops with no facilities. Luckily I always had a bedpan in a plastic bag which I carried in my car from when my children were little and then my grandchildren. They used it in emergencies including vomiting. I was in such pain I could not drive and had to pull off the road and use the bedpan which gave me some relief until I got to a rest room. I'm thankful that now I have less of those incidents but driving another 40 miles to a restroom when you are in pain is like driving 200 miles. ps: I've given up hideing my IBS, my family and friends know and understand.
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Hello Tam
I spotted your post and immediately related to it as this is my greatest fear. I often wish that I had superpowers so that I could stop time, run out and do my business, then get back to the journey with none of my fellow travellers being any the wiser! But, back to reality and I would suggest looking at coping techniques. I think the fear of this happening can be as distressing as the actual IBS and because of this, I'd offer the following advice:-
• Following the IBS eating plan including taking sol. fibre supps will increase a regular bowel function, so remember, that when you are in your comfort zone (office, home, in the bath, whatever it is for you) quite a lot of time passes without you thinking of being stuck without access to a bathroom. The thinking being, to associate this positive reinforcement of your ability to control your IBS when you are in a situation where you don't feel so comfortable, i.e. when travelling
• Have you thought of looking into the hypnotherapy cd's – I'm doing the programme at the moment at there is some imagery working about controlling the brain/gut function
• Last suggestion, and this is the toughest one for me, building up your journeys (perhaps your therapist would go with you?) so that the fear of travelling on cars/trains subsides as you get some success under your belt? I don't know your IBS history, so I'm not trying to generalise, but rather empathise as this is real big problem for me too. When I'm travelling by train, my fear of being caught without access to a bathroom got to the stage where I'd have to sit next to the loo. Then I'd have to check that the loo wasn't locked, and then I would get anxious if someone used the loo – what if I needed it? It started to really build so I started to slowly defuse the panic by sitting a little further away from the train bathroom and so on. I still need to know it's there (after all I've got chronic IBS!) but I had to prove to myself that I could live a regular life too. By car, you could start with a journey time that's ok with you, perhaps a 20 minute drive, then build this up too until you are able to tackle a journey where you can travel with a friend for a period that's comfortable for you. You could start with journey route where you know you have access to a bathroom, if you needed it.
Face the fear and show it who the boss is! Let me know how you get on, you're not the only one with this issue – I'm sure lots of IBS people can identify with what you are going through.
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Actually, I just watched the tape of the comedian Margaret Cho's last HBO special. She tells an absolutely hysterical and totally gross story about a bad accident she had after being on an all papaya diet (she has eating disorders in case you had any doubt). So she was driving along on the expressway in LA where she lives, lots of traffic, kind of stop and go, listening to the radio, singing along, when all of a sudden she realized that she had to go...RIGHT THEN! She tried desperately to hold it but felt more and more urgency, until... you guessed it, she lost control right there in her car. YUCK!!!!! But she lived to tell the tale and is now making money off it!!
So maybe knowing that your worst nightmare can happen and you can not only survive but thrive can help you with your issues. If not, you can always buy some Depends!!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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For added safety and assurance in your car you could carry a portapotty like the one posted a while back on www.outbackpack.com. For 15 dollars it is a cheap price to pay for knowing that you have a choice when in despiration.
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I always carry toilet paper and a fresh change of clothes with me. I tell myself I can always pull over.(I'm a commuter and let me tell you, I've had some close calls.)
I drive alone, so I don't worry about the embarrassment in front of co-workers/friends (darn those enviros who say we should carpool - do they really want to be stopping three times on the way to work for me to use the potty?) But you know... if it happens, at least when you're alone, is it really that big a deal? You'd side step to the bathroom, clean up, go buy a new skirt... life goes one. You have a medical condition, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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it happened last night.. I wasn't going to make it home after unexpected construction on the highway on my way home form a committee meeting where I stupidly ordered what I thought wuld be a safe dinner- taught me its a restaurant to avoid or skip eating at in the future... I called a friend who lives right by the next highway exit and asked her if she would like to visit for a few, called DH at the light and said I'd be a bit later getting home, got to her place, used the can, visited for about 15-20 then drove the rest of the way home. Had she not been there it would have been stop at a restaurant or gas station at the same exit... or maybe k-mart, they have a public restroom...
I have a friend who knows where all the stores public restrooms are and due to her I know where many are too (she's wheelchair bound and has bladder control issues).. but she's moved away so its mostly in the places we used to shop, but I think I'm going to start checking that out regularly again.
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I've had too many of those worst case scenarios to count, but your question isn't about health (dying because of an attack) it's about your dignity (dying of embarassment).
My dignity goes out the window when i ahve attacks. It's like that patient in the hospital, the one wandering around with the back of his gown open? Health and pain management come before dignity. I've jumped out of a slowing car because the person behind the wheel wasn't taking my attack seriously (ok, that one might be a 'health' issue...).
My worst was being trapped in a circling airplane outside of Heathrow. The air pressure and my full gut had me looking like that guy in "The Scream" -- my neighbor accross the aisle thought I was having a heart attack. I had to stumble off the plane, abandon all lugggage and plow into the nearest bathroom (there IS no nearest bathroom when you're in an airport gate) where I made sounds and smells that frightened children.
But I survived. I even got my luggage back. It was horrible, then it was over. If women give birth in public places, I can get over an occasional public attack.
One more thing: That kind of pain is RECOGNIZABLE. People see it and know it. Don't discount empathy from strangers. Especially women!
Good luck,
~nel~
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What could help is always make sure to take an Immodium before you go on trips, or maybe carry some with you at all times just to be sure?
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IBS-C
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