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Wookie

Reged: 04/01/04
Posts: 247
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Re: My secret
      07/13/04 12:50 PM

When I was 6 years old, I was molested by my mom's boyfriend. He told me if I told my mom that he would kill her and I believed that. I will spare most details but I remember after he would molest me he would make me take a bath and then spank me while I was wet. I told myself that I would never tell unless I was asked because I wouln't lie. My mom and I lived with him out of state. I always hated him even before he did what he did to me. I think I just had to have sensed his evil because I didn't know what hate was at age 6. As a child, I was an excellent artist. I drew a picture of a poison bottle and a guy was drinking it. I took it to my mother and said isn't this pretty mommy? She said what is this Davina (that is my name-doe is my nickname). So I told her it was David (the man who molested me) dying. My mom was very disturbed and asked me who drew it, I said, I did. She almost couldn't believe it b/c the drawing looked as if an adult drew it. I vaguley remember drawing the picture. She packed up a suit case and we left for the airport. Unfortunatly, he met us at the pay phone and held a gun to my mom's side. We had to go back with him. After months later, we were successful at escaping. Once I was back home, I was caught playing 'nasty' with my neighbor friend. We were both the same age. I have great guilt today because of my actions. I am just getting to the point to realize I didn't know any better. Once we were caught, my grandma asked me if David ever touched me. I said yes. She told my mother. My mother pulled me in a room and told me to never lie like that again. I told her it was true and then she told me that I was lieing. We were living with my mom's little brother at this time. David found us and one night he crawled in our window. My mom called for my unlce and my uncle went ahead and pulled him inside the house and beat him with a bat. Then threw him out in the yard and called the police. Months later, he was still in a body like cast. My mom moved me around to several schools growing up. Once I ended up going to school with David's kids. They knew me and I knew them but we never acted as if we did. I don't know if they knew or what. I do know I just wanted to forget about all of it. When I was about 12 years old my mom said she had a question. She asked if that was actually true and I said yes. She broke down. Asked me what happened and I told her the specifics. She cried and cried and I comforted her. As a kid, I rarely cried and my mom often thought something was wrong with me. I think that is how I protected myself as a child. I had to be strong so I was! To this day I don't know where David is but I do know he even molested his own little girl. Sometimes I struggle with the pain and find myself trying to find him on the internet to see if he was ever caught. Or looking in the obituaries hoping that he died. A few months after I had came out and told my family, my grandma committed suicide. My mom and her weren't on good terms at that time. I sometimes have guilt that I was the reason. She did write a suicide letter and didn't mention it though. Her last sentence was, tell Davina she was my favorite. Okay, tears.. The End.

p.s. I am named after my mom's older brother David in case you were wondering.

--------------------
~Wookie

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Bevvy 07/12/04 09:11 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret?    06/10/09 02:24 PM
. * Best Post Ever (and love to the board old timers!) Nelly   06/13/09 09:11 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? daliatree   01/23/05 05:32 PM
. * Wow I missed this too    01/23/05 11:01 AM
. * I just read this now, months later! How did I miss this thread? Sara-Sage   01/23/05 08:12 AM
. * Re: Not really a secret?? bttrfly08   07/14/04 12:11 PM
. * Just Wanted To Say..... Kimm   07/14/04 07:35 AM
. * Ok it's taken me 3 days.....here goes bz   07/14/04 06:53 AM
. * Barbara! Bevvy   07/14/04 07:51 AM
. * Re: Barbara! BL   07/14/04 08:13 AM
. * Re: Ok it's taken me 3 days.....here goes countrygirl   07/14/04 07:01 AM
. * Barbara jenX   07/14/04 06:57 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Kristine   07/13/04 07:25 PM
. * <<<<Here I am again with my thoughts>>>> barbie   07/13/04 05:36 PM
. * Re: Barbie michele   07/14/04 10:42 AM
. * Re: Michele and Barbie Wookie   07/14/04 11:06 AM
. * Michelle & Doe barbie   07/14/04 12:10 PM
. * Depression peaches   07/14/04 11:55 AM
. * Re: Peaches Wookie   07/14/04 12:20 PM
. * Re: Peaches peaches   07/14/04 12:33 PM
. * Re: Peaches Wookie   07/14/04 01:03 PM
. * Re: Peaches peaches   07/14/04 01:21 PM
. * Re: No problem at all!! -nt- Wookie   07/14/04 01:23 PM
. * Re: Depression Sheri01   07/14/04 12:15 PM
. * Re: Sheri01 Wookie   07/14/04 12:28 PM
. * Anti-depressants ChristineM   07/14/04 12:23 PM
. * Re: ChristineM Wookie   07/14/04 12:36 PM
. * deep breathe...ok.... melitami   07/13/04 04:13 PM
. * Melitami, thanks for sharing your story---nt-- BL   07/14/04 05:27 AM
. * Bev.......... LittleLisa   07/13/04 03:50 PM
. * LittleSis.... BL   07/14/04 05:29 AM
. * Re:Beaglelover.. LittleLisa   07/14/04 05:35 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Kimm   07/13/04 01:55 PM
. * Kimm BL   07/14/04 05:32 AM
. * Kimm: Sheri01   07/13/04 06:35 PM
. * Re: WOW! Wookie   07/13/04 02:26 PM
. * Re: My secret Wookie   07/13/04 12:50 PM
. * Doe BL   07/14/04 05:35 AM
. * Re: Beaglelover Wookie   07/14/04 06:56 AM
. * Davina Bevvy   07/13/04 03:37 PM
. * Re: Bev Wookie   07/14/04 06:43 AM
. * Re: My secret StephS   07/13/04 01:21 PM
. * Re: Story cont. and forgiveness Wookie   07/13/04 01:45 PM
. * Doe Sheri01   07/13/04 06:41 PM
. * Re: Sheri01 Wookie   07/14/04 06:50 AM
. * Re: My secret chinagrl   07/13/04 12:53 PM
. * Re: Surviving Wookie   07/13/04 02:01 PM
. * Re: My secret michele   07/13/04 01:16 PM
. * Re: Thanks so much for the kind words -nt- Wookie   07/13/04 02:04 PM
. * secret? What secret? StephS   07/13/04 12:17 PM
. * Re: Here is mine! chinagrl   07/13/04 12:29 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? mspaschal259   07/13/04 12:04 PM
. * Wow! Such a deep thread.. Jennifer Rose   07/13/04 12:00 PM
. * Re: Wow! Such a deep thread.. atomic rose   07/13/04 12:18 PM
. * Re: Wow! Such a deep thread.. Jennifer Rose   07/13/04 12:32 PM
. * Re: Wow! Such a deep thread.. chinagrl   07/13/04 12:34 PM
. * My turn (very long post!) BL   07/13/04 11:42 AM
. * beaglelover Sheri01   07/13/04 06:51 PM
. * Sheri01 BL   07/14/04 05:19 AM
. * Thank You, BL Bevvy   07/13/04 03:54 PM
. * Re: Very good Wookie   07/13/04 02:37 PM
. * Doe BL   07/14/04 05:22 AM
. * Re: beaglelover Wookie   07/14/04 07:00 AM
. * Speechless! bamagirl   07/13/04 12:04 PM
. * for beaglelover mspaschal259   07/13/04 11:53 AM
. * Marilyn BL   07/14/04 05:25 AM
. * for beaglelover mspaschal259   07/14/04 06:22 AM
. * Marilyn BL   07/14/04 06:36 AM
. * Re: for beaglelover BL   07/14/04 06:26 AM
. * Re: for beaglelover mspaschal259   07/14/04 06:37 AM
. * Re: for beaglelover BL   07/14/04 06:47 AM
. * thank you for sharing this jenX   07/13/04 11:51 AM
. * biploar is something you are born with, is what i was told.. mspaschal259   07/13/04 11:55 AM
. * I am amazed....... BarbaraS   07/13/04 10:18 AM
. * Wow...I'm at a loss for words right now.... Nugget   07/13/04 10:15 AM
. * Re: Ditto! -nt- Wookie   07/13/04 02:42 PM
. * Strength and courage Janey   07/13/04 03:09 AM
. * Very well said, Janey...... Nugget   07/13/04 08:14 AM
. * WOW! JBI   07/12/04 10:36 PM
. * Laura Sue.... StephS   07/12/04 10:15 PM
. * Re: I spilled my guts, hit the shut down key and lost it all gigi   07/12/04 11:08 PM
. * Gigi BL   07/14/04 05:40 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Vicam   07/12/04 08:02 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Shell Marr   07/13/04 08:07 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? RachelT   07/12/04 07:35 PM
. * BEV, I'M WAITING....... -nt- LauraSue   07/12/04 01:29 PM
. * Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... Bevvy   07/12/04 04:30 PM
. * Bev. BL   07/13/04 12:21 PM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... michele   07/13/04 11:25 AM
. * Bless You, Michele Bevvy   07/13/04 11:30 AM
. * Re: Bev you are a ROCK! Wookie   07/13/04 10:31 AM
. * WELL SAID, DOE! i couldn't find those words myself. perfection! -nt- jenX   07/13/04 10:39 AM
. * Re: Bevrs michele   07/13/04 09:44 AM
. * Re: Bevrs BarbaraS   07/13/04 10:04 AM
. * bbB jenX   07/12/04 06:57 PM
. * Bev and Laura Sue Sheri01   07/12/04 06:52 PM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... barbie   07/12/04 05:26 PM
. * I'm so amazed by everyone ChristineM   07/12/04 05:30 PM
. * I want to echo that.... atomic rose   07/12/04 05:34 PM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... LauraSue   07/12/04 05:05 PM
. * Laura Sue..... BL   07/14/04 05:44 AM
. * Re: LauraSue CathUK   07/13/04 11:28 AM
. * Re: LauraSue LauraSue   07/13/04 02:07 PM
. * Re: LauraSue CathUK   07/13/04 02:25 PM
. * Re: LauraSue lovejoy_22   07/13/04 02:20 PM
. * Re: LS michele   07/13/04 10:13 AM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... barbie   07/12/04 06:39 PM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... atomic rose   07/12/04 05:16 PM
. * Re: Whew! [Heavy Sigh]. Okay, Here Goes...... chinagrl   07/12/04 05:23 PM
. * WOW *exhale* peaches   07/12/04 01:40 PM
. * LS, in Bevrs' defense.... jenX   07/12/04 01:39 PM
. * Re: LS, in Bevrs' defense.... LauraSue   07/12/04 03:46 PM
. * Laura, you brave girl, you! jenX   07/12/04 07:01 PM
. * Yeah, What Jen Said Bevvy   07/12/04 08:37 PM
. * Bev ChristineM   07/12/04 08:40 PM
. * AIS Bevvy   07/12/04 09:09 PM
. * Bev, you are a sweetheart! crampgirl   07/13/04 10:18 AM
. * Fascinating! ChristineM   07/12/04 09:47 PM
. * Thanks Christine and Jenny Bevvy   07/12/04 10:18 PM
. * OH BEV!! RachelT   07/13/04 01:43 PM
. * Thanks Becky -- nt Bevvy   07/13/04 03:50 PM
. * Just my 2 cents bamagirl   07/13/04 11:21 AM
. * Re: BEV-You did nothing to deserve what you got Wookie   07/13/04 11:02 AM
. * cut it out- you're making me all choked up, dude. -nt- jenX   07/13/04 11:03 AM
. * Re: Me sorry JenX Wookie   07/14/04 07:06 AM
. * Bev! peaches   07/12/04 10:56 PM
. * Jessica Bevvy   07/13/04 08:25 AM
. * Re: Jessica peaches   07/13/04 10:26 PM
. * Wow Bev... StephS   07/12/04 10:13 PM
. * Steph Bevvy   07/12/04 10:23 PM
. * Steph..... Dr. Spice Yamin   07/13/04 08:28 PM
. * Re: Steph..... StephS   07/13/04 10:27 PM
. * Re: Steph..... Dr. Spice Yamin   07/14/04 07:37 AM
. * Re: Steph..... StephS   07/14/04 07:48 AM
. * Re: AIS chinagrl   07/12/04 09:21 PM
. * Re: LS, in Bevrs' defense.... chinagrl   07/12/04 04:18 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? LauraSue   07/12/04 12:32 PM
. * wow Jen! StephS   07/12/04 12:16 PM
. * Re: wow Jen! michele   07/13/04 10:20 AM
. * BEV and the rest of y'all ChristineM   07/12/04 11:01 AM
. * Eeeeeek... atomic rose   07/12/04 10:47 AM
. * Casey, Casey, Casey... jenX   07/12/04 10:52 AM
. * LOL!! atomic rose   07/12/04 11:06 AM
. * Don't *DELETED* ChristineM   07/12/04 10:36 AM
. * ok, well... *DELETED* jenX   07/12/04 10:46 AM
. * LOL *DELETED* ChristineM   07/12/04 10:51 AM
. * Re: Don't stand so, don't stand so... chinagrl   07/12/04 10:42 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Sheri01   07/12/04 10:34 AM
. * Sheri01 BL   07/14/04 05:50 AM
. * Re: Sheri, Thanks for sharing your story gigi   07/12/04 11:30 AM
. * Congratulations, Sheri! Bevvy   07/12/04 10:47 AM
. * Re: Congratulations, Sheri! Sheri01   07/12/04 11:49 AM
. * Sheri01 jenX   07/12/04 10:41 AM
. * Thanks! -nt- Sheri01   07/12/04 10:42 AM
. * I've actually never told this to anyone in real life.. Stephie   07/12/04 09:30 AM
. * Steph.... BL   07/14/04 05:52 AM
. * but was it GOOD!?!?!! -nt- jenX   07/12/04 07:05 PM
. * Stephie's been a bad girl! Sheri01   07/12/04 06:55 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? LauraSue   07/12/04 09:13 AM
. * Nope, LS Bevvy   07/12/04 09:58 AM
. * Re: Nope, LS TommyNY   07/12/04 12:21 PM
. * tommy, jenX   07/12/04 12:43 PM
. * Re: tommy, TommyNY   07/12/04 01:07 PM
. * Re: tommy, Sheri01   07/12/04 01:27 PM
. * some people did, Bevrs. jenX   07/12/04 10:10 AM
. * wow Jen...as an adoptive mom ####   07/12/04 03:31 PM
. * Re: some people did, Bevrs. countrygirl   07/12/04 10:20 AM
. * BLESS YOU, Jen! Bevvy   07/12/04 10:18 AM
. * Re: Jen, you are more than a Woman ! gigi   07/12/04 11:37 AM
. * no, YOU'RE a gem, ya big dope. jenX   07/12/04 10:19 AM
. * Wow Jen, you win! -nt- Stephie   07/12/04 10:15 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? countrygirl   07/12/04 09:20 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? chinagrl   07/12/04 10:37 AM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? Sheri01   07/12/04 12:02 PM
. * Re: Your Deepest, Darkest Secret? chinagrl   07/12/04 12:59 PM
. * Good For You, ChinaGirl Bevvy   07/12/04 10:50 AM
. * ah, childhood memories! jenX   07/12/04 10:50 AM
. * Re: my secret michele   07/12/04 11:33 AM
. * michele, jenX   07/12/04 12:00 PM
. * Re: my secret atomic rose   07/12/04 11:59 AM
. * Re: my secret Sheri01   07/12/04 11:53 AM
. * Re: To everyone! michele   07/13/04 10:16 AM

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