Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Hugs and love to you. Nothing for him.

We are all here for you, Shannon. {{{{HUGS}}}} You did not deserve this emotional crap he's dumping on you!! You are an excellent example of a strong, caring lady. I often wish I had as great a disposition as you, and your smile and your words of comfort never fail to inspire me.

His unilateral decision is extremely puerile and self-motivated. I'm disgusted at this total emotional abandonment. How does he think that this decision isn't going to bite him in the butt in the end?? This is bringing up old deamons in my life and I'm getting very emotional for you (and for me).

I'm going to get on a personal rant here, so if you don't want to read it, skip to the bottom)

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Daddy thinks it's sooo easy. I'm sooo sure he's being amicable. He has no idea what this is going to cost him after child support and alimony each month. I'll bet he's playing nice right now. He should leave with NOTHING and pay you for the house and child.

It burns me up. This egocentric idea of trying to recreate a life that doesn't exist anymore at the expense of his loving wife and daughter makes me want to throw gasoline on him and light a match. My father in a rash of completely sociopathic behaviour, abandoned my mom, little brother and me. Wasn't cut out to live with actual people who loved him. Do I suffer? I suffer every day because of it. *tears*

I would gladly pay a counselor $20,000 to get me to the point where I'd admit "I just want my father to love me and be proud of me." But I'm not done hating him yet. It's easier to just hate him so much that it burns up inside me. I will hate as long as I can, because when you stop, it hurts like hell.

I've never let a man close who hasn't betrayed me (in my mind), and so it's easier to keep everyone at arm's length. I will never marry and have children. So vowed I when I was 11, so vow I now, at 35. Just in case men don't think a parent's divorce hurts little girls. My personal rant!!!!
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OK, end rant. Begin reading again

Shannon, we are here for you and your baby. You are so important to us, and we love you. Please lean on us as hard as you can. You have done nothing wrong.

I hope it's spelled out exactly on paper exactly how much it's going to cost him to #1) Move out #2) find a new place, #3) pay for childcare, #4) pay for alimony. Maybe it will shake some sense into him.

So he wants to feel loved and needed and have something to live for. Well join the club!! There is no reason he can't find those things within his marriage. The college years are over, and there are better things on the horizon. I don't think he really wants to be the sad older divorced guy drinking beer with other post-pubescent lonely guys who don't give a crap about him.

After he starts paying you, there won't be any beer money left anyway. Sick that in his pipe and smoke it!

Much love to you, Shannon. Protect yourself and your child and visit here whenever you need to connect. I'm sending you tons of strength to not knock his block off. (Tho I'd be glad to smack him around for you)

~a very emotional nelly~

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