Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: You totally understand!

Honestly, I can't do all that much either! The trip to Tahoe this Christmas wasn't fun for me at all. I was so doped up on Xanax and Vicodin that I was a zombie. There was no way of getting out of it though, so I self medicated and did the best I could. I spent a considerable time alone in my bedroom because I just couldn't deal with people but you do what you have to do to get through the day.

Same thing was Wills brothers confirmation thingy at his Church a couple of weeks ago. I was in the ER the day before and was hurting SO bad and felt like I was suffocating. Again, I went because if I didn't then I was going to cause family problems. So, I took a couple of pills, put on a tank top under my sweater because I couldn't even wear a bra and did the best I could. Once we got back to Wills brothers house, I sat on the couch with Harley while everyone else talked and was social. When I got home, I slept the rest of the day.

I rarely go out other than to work which seems to take ALL my energy even though I have a relatively non stressful job. I feel guilty when Wills asks to take me out to dinner and I don't even feel well enough to do that alot of times. Its very frustrating and depressing. I take a LOT of comfort in Harley and I cuddle with him as much as possible and his love REALLY helps. On the days when I feel a little better, I try to make myself do something. Even if its just take Harley for a walk around the block or go out to dinner with Will or go make-up shopping with my girlfriend. Its very difficult but on those rare days when the pain is less, you HAVE to take advantage of it. I know you are on a tight budget but do something you like, even if its just walk in the park or get a beginners yoga video and just do the best you can. Take a bubble bath and read a trashy novel. Paint your toes. Do something for yourself. Its these little things that will make you feel like you have a life. Its these little things that will keep you going. Its ok to cry and be upset, beat your pillow, scream in the shower, let it out but you have to move on. I don't know if the pain will ever go away completely for either of us but we have to have hope and we have to keep on trying. We only get one life, no matter how crappy it seems to get sometimes, we've got to do the best to make the best of it. Love and hugs

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Taking it one day at a time.....

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