Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | UGH I think I might have screwed up

I found out that while I was away, BF had made plans to buy a motorcycle. I found the paperwork in my car-- he didn't tell me himself. The last time he had a bike, he drove it around with no license and no insurance, and I cried and worried when he was out on it. I told him over and over that I could never deal with him having a bike again, even joking that his new girlfriend would have no problem with it.

So he finally admits over the phone from work yday (after a lot of prodding from me) that he's picking up the bike tomorrow (mind you, I've already FOUND the paperwork!!!). I tell him to come home with an explanation and tell me his plan. He comes home arguing he's going to be 30 and wants a bike and that's it.

I tell him tearfully that I can't live this way. Nothing's changed... he doesn't have a license, he's never taken a class tho he's self-taught, and he's not a great rider. ALSO he's using the $1500 his dad sent him from Iraq that was meant for a new car (his dad even got BF's boss to agree to co-sign a car loan!!!), and with a bike, he's not going to be able to ride it past September!! I asked him, "Are you going to take the dog to the vet's appointmants on your bike? Are you going to do the shopping on your bike?? What about in a couple of months when there's ice on the road??" He's got no other car. Does he expect me to pick up the slack??

Finally I just handed him his 30-day's notice to leave the apartment.

He says I'm overreacting. Yeah, obviously, but this is the way I feel. I can't be staying up nights wondering if the sirens I'm hearing are for him. Nothing's changed since the last time he had a bike. He just thinks he can be irresponsible and there are no consequences. It's so frustrating that he'd do this behind my back because he knows I'd never accept it if I knew what had been going on.

This whole situation STINKS!!

I told him let's do couple's therapy (we've been together 9 years) and see if there's a solution I'm not seeing. He's cool with that, but I know he's going to get the bike today anyway. I can't believe he's thrown away this chance to get a car of his own. If somebody offered me a down-payment plus a co-signer on a car loan, you'd better be sure I wouldn't throw it away on a toy I couldn't use when it rains!!

Any ideas, anyone??

~nelly~

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