I guess I'm on the other side of the fence on this issue. My daughter-in-law hates me! and I don't know why. I've tried everything to make her like me, but nothing has worked. It's not just me though, she hates everybody in the family; my husband, my other kids and their kids and my parents, etc....
This year, she didn't come to Christmas. My son and his kids came by themselves. I missed her, but my son didn't and neither did their children. They had a great time and stayed later than they normally would have.
I just hate it though, that I haven't been able to bridge the gap on this. I've asked what the problem is, but my son won't tell me and my dil won't speak to us, so I can't fix it, if I don't know what's wrong.
After 9/11 happened, she came to my home and told me that she knew she'd been a bad dil and wanted a new start. We cried and hugged and I was so happy. But, since then, everything went back to what it was before and even worse. So, I'm the hated mil and I don't know why.
It's a very sad thing in my life, but I try not to dwell on it, because I don't think there's anything I can do about it.
As far as my dil goes? Well, I've tried being good and treating her the way I'd want to be treated. I never pry into their lives. I stay completely out now, because that's what she wants. I'm not invited to birthday parties and as a matter of fact, I'm not allowed in her home when she is there. I've only been to their beautiful home, 2 times and it has to be on invitation only. I'm NEVER to just show up unless I call first. But, she never answers the phone to me, so that's not a viable option either. If I want to see my son, I have to call him and he makes arrangements to meet me somewhere in the city they live in. Usually, he has us meet him at the movies. One time, we met him at a park and he brought my grandchildren; (whom I adore, by the way.) One time, I showed up unannounced and she slammed the door in my face; so she isn't kidding about me having to stick to her rules.
Listen to this, I'm not invited to the kids' parties, but she holds it against me because I didn't get their presents to them on time. I was late. It's hard to get them there on time, when I can't even go to their house.
So, my question is: what makes a good mother-in-law?
I'm opened to suggestions. I want to be that great mil that everybody wants. I don't want my dil uncomfortable around me. I want her to feel accepted and loved for who she is, but I feel like I've failed at it.
Terri
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Does everybody hate their mothers-in-law?
