Just thought I would pop in here since so much of what you say is just like what I went thru. Actually, I have done the program 3 times, because I was a tough nut to crack as they say... I always had to be the driver, I could only travel certain routes, and at the hairdressers, at first I would lie and say I was late because I couldn't get a babysitter, then, I felt guilty for lying, and I would say, no, I lied, and the whole beauty shop, I swear, got quiet, and I told them I had IBS and was late because I was on the pot for hours. Just knowing I had an appointment made me have to go, and into cramping and loooong hours of D and cramps. At one point, I was like you, only worse, because it was years and years before I would go to the dentist. Finally, I just told the dentist about the IBS, and also they even give me a special novacaine (if needed, sometimes I opt out) that is gentler to the digestive tract. Now I tell everyone I have IBS, and you know, as soon as I did that, it sort of took the pressure off, and I had less and less attacks. With Mike's program now I can "ward off" that impending hot sweats cramping, tummy gurgle feeling 9 times out of 10, and for the odd 10th time, it lasts 1/2 hour compared to 4 - 6 hours of cramping and D. I haven't done the program for at least over a year (first time in 2000, then 2001 and 2 to help me thru surgeris and etc.) and I can still feel the benefits actually IMPROVING over time.
I was in a store parking lot the other day, and felt the impending feeling of a D attack, but I wanted to get to the store, not race home. So I actually sat in the parking lot doing session 2 in my mind, and... 3 hours later I was still shopping. So, yes, do the program again, and be confident that you will beat this thing, this insidious IBS!
I remember being on vacation and having horrendous D attack, and it was at a museum, and I was in there for over an hour, my kids waiting for me, as the line in the rest room was long, each stall exchanging patrons one by one, but the person in line for my stall was not able to budge, so they had to move to another line.... I got a ton of stories, each more embarrassing than the other one; and the same sort of fear you discribe, I became a recluse almost! I remember going to Mayo Clinic to get checked out, and my friend Mary and I drove up together, about a 7 hr trip, and I was petrified of travel and getting caught in traffic, so I brought along a can "just in case" (before Mike's tapes were "invented") and my ex (hubby at the time) said, "Poor Mary"... the sympathy lies with the persons having to endure us IBSers, not with us... but I don't care anymore, I just tell them, because, now I have found out that usually the person I am telling either has it too, or knows someone who does!!! LOL
So hang in there, honey, enjoy your journey again, you will be fine, and you are not alone!!! Mags, you are not a mess; so much of what you share here, I went through as well. We both got these thought patterns ingrained in our minds, as soon as a situation comes into mind, where we might have to "go", the brain memorizes it as a normal response, and we learn it to be. But whatever was learned can be replaced with new learnings! If you believe it you can be it...
And so now what do I do? I hand out cards and brochures to anyone I meet about IBS, and I say, if you know anyone who has this condition, here is some stuff that can help! And I tell them about Heather's book and this BB, and Mike's program. And you know what? I remember 4 times just off the top of my head, when they DID have IBS themselves!!! Ain't that a hoot????
OK I rambled a tad bit, but just know you will be better and we are rootin for ya just like Bevers said...and Bev, you are such a sweetie... you really help others and care a lot, and that is the BEST...
(((HUGS))) to you both and feel better.. .. or as Mike says, and feel good!!! Now wriggle your toes!
My Journey and Success with the IBS Audio Program Hypnotherapy Program: www.helpforibs.com/messageboards/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=hypnotherapy&Number=224850