Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: How do you people keep gaining weight?

Hi itsnotfair,
I am sorry you have to go through this. I read your post yesterday but felt too sick to sit up at the computer and respond, but today, even though I still feel awful, I told myself that I have to respond because about a month ago, I was kind of in your position. I was not forty pounds underweight, but, I was being forced to eat foods that hurt me. Naturally I just started to hate food (how can you learn to like something that hurts you?) It was an abusive relationship,let's put it that way. Anyhow, after all of the tests were negative, the GI doctor had already had me taking benefiber but just told my parents that I could eat whatever I wanted and that lots of kids my age have lots of stress. My parents interpreted that as "force feed her because food is not what is causing the pain." My parents just thought that I was being irrational, but there was a method to my madness...just nobody would believe me. Okay, I'm rambling. So, my parents would sit me at the table and not let me leave until I finished a whole big plate of something I knew would hurt me. And when I just went to eat the bread, they got mad at me and said it had no vitamins in it and I shouldn't waste room in my stomach with the bread. Now, you might look at this like they're mean, but they saw their daughter "wasting away" before them ( I'm not underweight but have lost at least 30 pounds) and they were just scared. The old school way to fatten someone up is to force feed 'em.
OK, so, there's a point to my post..sorry for the rambling. When I hit just about rock bottom when my parents were forcing me to eat stuff and I didn't have a choice, it was just awful. So I just called them at work and told them "I'm crazy. I need to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist. I mean I must be crazy." To my surprise, my mom was like "no, you aren't crazy." So, here's my thought. Are you going to a psychiatrist/therapist right now? If you aren't, ask to go to one. It's kind of like a reverse psychology thing on your parents. Your parents will think that you are finally giving in and realizing that you are anorexic (i know you aren't) so they'll probably bring you to one. Do you have a printer at home? Well, once you go to the psychiatrist, I'm sure that they'll see you alone for at least part of the session or most of it...maybe all of it. So, print out a bunch of the info from Heather's site (trigger foods, how you can gain weight, anything that you think would help prove your point). Then bring that to the psychiatrist/therapist appt. In my experience, they want to make sure that they aren't overlooking any physical problem. So, show them the info and explain them the difficulty you are having. Tell them that you know it may seem crazy, but you have started to dislike food so much because it hurts. Tell them if you start to eat foods that "break the cycle" you will be more stabilized, you won't dread eating, your stomach won't be empty as much, and you'll have fewer attacks. I'm sure they'd be glad to help work this out for you. So anyhow, I found the site and told my parents about it. Anyhow, now I am on the mend. I have my own shelf in the pantry for safety foods and my parents now accept my whole eating situation. But the main thing that I care about is that I get to eat my safe foods. It doesn't matter what they think...as long as they don't force you to do something that hurts. Because if someone doesn't experience something like this, they have no idea. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may take some strategy to get there but you'll get there! Good luck and I'm sorry you have to go through this. you can email me if you have any questions!

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If you live life to love, you'll love to live life.

Edited by tarabara04 (04/28/04 11:41 AM)

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