sorry it has taken me so long to reply..... I completely relate to you Beth... I can't tell you how many times I prayed to die. I didn't think I could kill myself... but the thought (still) of having to do this until the day I die is beyond overwhelming. I would trade this for cancer or another life threatening disease anyday- at least an end would be in site... you either die or they have SOME means to treat you. Not just leave you utterly alone to struggle. People just do not understand the devatstation this disorder causes... especially if you are alone. I'm scared to death sometimes at what will happen if I can't work at some point. WHAT would I do? On a side note- to answer your other question, I moved to AZ for my IBS, and i'm moving back b/c of my IBS (to Palos Hills area). I'll email you and give you the long story of it. It's all IBS related. But I don't recommmend Arizona- not at all!