I'll comment the best I can, but I don't know what CFIDS and FMS are, so forgive me if I give any advice that's out of line.
1. I don't have a good answer for this one. Personally, I don't reconcile anything - I eat what makes my gut feel good, and I really don't give a flying fig about what experts, etc say is "good nutrition". Then again, I don't eat nothing but white-flour products, and I don't have an overly sugary diet. I do choose white rice over brown, because I prefer the taste of it. But I do try to incorporate some more "whole" grains where I can, which is what I suggest if you have issues with the "processed" stuff. Once you start adding insolubles back into your diet, you can try whole wheat bread again - some people here can eat it just fine. Oatmeal, barley, and quinoa are all solubles, and are less processed than white flour. As for sugar, you can avoid that too - there are many people on here who don't consume sugar. (But I'll take issue with sugar's "health-destroying properties", as I've watched my great-grandparents live into their late 90's eating plenty of the stuff.)
2. I've seen rice protein powders in the health food store. I'm not sure how they compare in grams per serving, but that would certainly be an option.
3. I haven't had that experience, so I'll skip this one.
4. I'd say give the supplements a try. If you can tolerate them, keep using them! Many of us do supplement our diets with vitamins or vitamin-containing foods like Luna bars and SpiruTein shakes (both of which do have soy, so they wouldn't be an option for you, but that's just an example). And hang in there... as your gut settles down, you'll be able to digest more and more foods again, and as long as you eat them safely (with plenty of soluble fiber), you'll enjoy a wide range of vegetables again.
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Re: My Reservations About The Diet (please comment!)
