Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

The UNC just had a recent chat on this very topic.
http://www.med.unc.edu/ibs/march-evening-with-the-experts-chat-room-1

This question is actually very common and a huge part of the IBS equation.

There is a CD or MP3 recording that explains what it is like to have IBS to the partner or family members- Let me know if you want more info.

This may be helpful to you:

From the IBS Companion Information (recording)

May be helpful to you~

In addition to enduring your IBS symptoms
No doubt you are also dealing with family members, friends, co-workers and others who don't quite know what to make of your condition.

(This program is free with the IBS Audio Program 100, but you can get it alone as a single CD or MP3.)

You may not have told them about it because it is uncomfortable and even humiliating to do so.So often, you may have had to explain to close friends or family that you are not feeling well, or that you need to have guaranteed bathroom access. How many times have you had to lie to co-workers or bosses, or social contacts, because it is just too embarrassing to go into the IBS explanation? And even when you do explain it to family members, they may become irritated, or frustrated at constantly having to deal with your problem, because then it becomes their problem as well. And of course, having to deal with less than sympathetic persons, just seems to add to your IBS symptoms. This IBS CD or mp3 support program may make life a little easier for you.

My name is Michael Mahoney and as I listened to all the IBS patients I have treated over the years, the aspect of dealing with family members and others takes a real toll on your life. Patients became tired of trying to explain their IBS to others only to be given comments like, "just don't eat bad food" � when you have explained that it isn't a particular food that causes it, or perhaps they tell you they had the same thing last week, and you'll get over it, or they tell you to quit obsessing and thinking about it, or that you have brought it on yourself - the comments ranging from trying to be helpful, to downright cruel, are many � and I have heard them all.

And while some family and friends can be caring and supportive, they too can become frustrated because they are unable to do anything to help. And being human, after living with an IBS sufferer, they can unintentionally become a bit callous, as it becomes a burden to them as well. This leads to a vicious cycle - you feel badly that you are causing family upset, and that leads to more frequent IBS symptoms � and so the pattern continues. You are upset that the family does not understand, and they are upset that they can't help you. And there is every combination in between.

In dealing with the social world � friends can be understanding to a point as they don't live with you day to day, but they may have to make allowances in travel with you or various situations like eating out. Some friends are easy-going and may just accept this about you, but others may not be so understanding, and this makes either a tension in the friendship, or the termination of it. Of course, if they do pull out of the friendship due to your IBS, I would say good riddance anyway, because what kind of friend is that?

And lastly, there is the work world. This is a bit tricky, because on the one hand you don't want to be seen as a sick person, not capable of proper employment, but you also want them to know that you are doing the best you can with your condition. Then there is the decision to actually tell them about your condition. Fortunately, IBS is known about a bit more than it used to be, but there are still a lot of misconceptions, and it is not an easy subject to discuss with a boss or co-worker. And while there are many places of employment who know that IBS affects 20% of the population and is secondary in sick days only to the common cold, it still can be met with much ignorance.

Well, what to do. I thought about this burden on the IBS sufferer � the repeated and embarrassing explanations of just what IBS is and what you have to endure, and I thought that this needs to be addressed. Sometimes individuals need to hear the details from another source other than yourself.

And while your physician or gastroenterologist may be available to explain it to your immediate family members, or you can print up information or share books, this isn't always convenient and folks sometimes read only bits and not get the full picture. So I decided to make a recording that explains the IBS condition to other individuals in the IBS patient's life.

This title provides easy to understand and comforting content. Patients saddled with the embarrassing nature of the condition have found this recording to validate their suffering in a professional yet caring manner; it provides emotional support and helps remove the stigma of the condition for the patient, as well as the awkward burden of explanation to less than sympathetic companions.

In addition to having the IBS Companion available separately as a single CD, a few years ago, I decided to add this extra CD to the IBS Audio Program package because it can be an additional avenue of help to the patient's overall condition. The inclusion of this separate, non-therapeutic recording can also provide an added area of patient improvement through lifting the burden of explanation of IBS, as well as providing the potential for improved family cooperation and understanding, which again adds to the multi-level therapy approach.

All too often, we forget that IBS not only affects the sufferer, it can have a detrimental effect on the lives of those around the sufferer. Holidays and days out might often be cancelled or restricted. It is not easy having IBS, it is not easy supporting an IBS sufferer either. This short recording is easy to understand explaining the symptoms, common fears, and the explorative tests that IBS sufferers have to go through to be diagnosed as having IBS. For those around the sufferer, it will provide some much needed insight and ways to be more understanding. For the IBS sufferer, the CD can be a good source of explaining IBS when you have tried or you are too embarrassed or tired of explaining it to others.

The IBS Companion speaks of the humiliations, fears, medical evaluation embarrassments and ordeals that an IBS patient must go through, and how the family can help the patient, rather than add to their distressing situation.

I also mentioned that one of my patients, upon listening to this recording, told me that she cried, as it was the first time she felt validated by someone who understood her condition and its impact on her world. IBS had cost her a good deal of her life, and the recording was the first time she felt real empathy.

Another listener shares his experience with the IBS Companion when he wrote -

"If anyone knows Michael, let him know that his audio program CD for family and friends of the IBS patient really saved me. I had a family wedding in a distant state of a distant cousin. Of course, the entire extended family was attending, except me, due to IBS.
The family was not amused. But I sent them copies of the CD that explained IBS and all of them wrote back apologetically, saying they did not realize what an IBS person goes through."

It is very gratifying to have feedback like this because it goes some way to show just how essential it is to have good communication between the IBS patient and those in your life. Through understanding your condition, you will lighten the weight of constant explanation, and through this, another avenue to help you feel as best as you can with your condition.

And also -this article:

IBS and Friends and Family

By Michael Mahoney, MDHthp, Clinical Hypnotherapist

IBS and Friends and Family

One of the biggest problems the IBS patient faces is living with family or others, or being around co-workers or friends, who do not understand or "get" the IBS condition.

Just about every IBS patient can relate to these comments from the well-intentioned, but misinformed -
"Just don't eat that, and you will be better"

"You already went to the bathroom 5 times already, and we're late�"

"You bring it on yourself, just don't think about it�"

"You already took your - Imodium, Bentyl, Donnatal, fiber, etc. � so why aren't you better?"

"You are just under stress, everyone has it, so just buck up and quit babying yourself�"

"You are doing it because you get attention or to make people feel sorry for you�"

>"Just go back to the doctor (for the 10th time), switch doctors (you have had 7 already), go on this diet (you are on crackers and water).."

"I have IBS too, and it isn't that bad - you are making a mountain out of a little problem" (they have mild IBS, you have severe refractory IBS�)

The fact is, while well-intentioned, most people who do not have IBS cannot fully understand what you are going through.

Even when you explain that it feels like having a severe flu all the time, or however you explain it, they either don't get it, or don't believe it could be that bad or any number of off-putting opinions.

People get fed up being around the chronically sick when it isn't something termed to be 'serious' like cancer. Yet the quality of life of a severe IBS patient can be just as lacking as that of the cancer patient.

Now of course we are NOT minimizing the terrible suffering and devastation that cancer brings, but one of our patients was told by her gastroenterologist that he could more effectively treat the pain of his colon cancer patients better than his IBS patents.

And because the IBS condition isn't classified as serious, but a functional disorder, the patient sometimes does not receive the empathy or consideration that any suffering individual deserves, no matter what the cause.

Further to this, perhaps you are feeling guilty that you may understandably complain now and then, when you are aware that other folks may have more serious conditions. This just adds to the IBS condition and can make you feel even worse in your thoughts.

So I developed a professional recording to fully explain the IBS condition to family, friends, co-workers or anyone that you may feel needs to have this information.

I called it the IBS Companion, and give it free in my IBS Audio Program 100 for adults

The IBS Companion is highly valuable, in that not only will your family, friends, co-workers and/or others have a new respect and understanding of your suffering and condition, but � and this is KEY � you will have eliminated one very embarrassing, and taxing part of your condition � the constant feeling of obligation to explain your illness, or the need to excuse yourself � this burden of explanation over and over is taken off of you!

Designed so you can just hand them a copy of the recorded session to listen to � and you both will be on the same page.

This in turn is part of the beginning of your therapy � before you even consider the IBS Audio Program 100 sessions, you will have had a huge weight lifted off of you �finally � someone really, really understands what you are going through � not just the physical symptoms, painful and unrelenting and embarrassing as they are, but the need for understanding, compassion, and the full aspects of living with a chronic � and embarrassing condition.

I am passionate about helping those who suffer with this condition � why? � because when I first began seeing success with my sessions and protocol, patients came to me with tears of joy and gratitude for getting their lives back, now kidding, it was really quite moving � in fact you can read over 10 years of people � just like you � who have voluntarily written to me, or posted on public websites � who have been given their lives back after years of suffering and embarrassment�

Some people were so sick with IBS they couldn't even travel to see in person � so I taped the programs for them and mailed them � this was the beginning of the IBS Audio Program 100.

A very simple, grass-roots and humble beginning.

From there, gastroenterologists and general practitioners heard about the program and began to refer their patients to me.

The program grew out of a need and was not a commercial entity at all � in fact � in the early days, I never even asked for a fee from his first IBS patients.

So in that spirit, I know that you will find the IBS Companion a valuable tool in helping you address the issues of sharing your symptoms and innermost feelings about the condition with others in your life who need to know�

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My Journey and Success with the IBS Audio Program Hypnotherapy Program: www.helpforibs.com/messageboards/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=hypnotherapy&Number=224850

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