I'm back, and in major life crisis.
#263948 - 05/17/06 03:09 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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Hey everybody. I've been gone for so long while we've been trying to get rid of all our viruses. We finally took it to staples and they did nothing with it and gave it back with viruses on it. So finally today we got it back the second time. And just in time.
Trevor sat me down yesterday for the dreaded talk. yes, he's fallen out of love with me. No, there's no other woman. yes, he's leaving. No, he doesn't think counselling will help. Yes, he'll be there for Kayleigh.
We lead such separate lives for a married couple that it shouldn't be a shock to me. I love him so much but I guess I'm not "in love" either. Still, I'm terrified of doing it on my own. We never see each other, and basically hand kayleigh off anyhow, though he says he still loves me and very much wants to stay friends if we can handle it. it's eerily amicable at the moment.
He's decided he wants to be an immature partying restaurant guy, and thinks I'm too grown up and too much a teacher for him. Whatever that means.
We'll be married five years in August.
We're moving apart slowly and he's sticking aorund to get his bills in order and so that I don't end up totally screwed. I don't think he had a clue how much child support is. I only make $20,000 a year, and have staggering debt to do it alone.
I'm really numb but stunned that i'm not constantly bawling my eyes out. Maybe that will come.
He's off at the oilers game tonight. Never invited me. He was the man of my dreams...what the hell happened???
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Shannon :) (05/17/06 04:01 PM)
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Shannon~ I am so sorry to hear about you and your husband. My prayers are with you and hopefully you will find a way to reconnect. Just remember we are all here for you if you need anything.
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Oh, Shannon .... I hurt for you. I hope whatever happens it is for the best and you will be strong.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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I'm so sorry Shannon!!...... {{hugs}}
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Oh that stinks. Wish I had some great advice for ya! But I don't... 
I take it from your post you felt this was coming? How do you feel - would you have been happy to carry on as you were? If not, it might have been that you reached this decision yourself further down the line...?
So sorry, I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now.
(((((HUGS)))))
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Oh shannon....
#263971 - 05/17/06 05:03 PM
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Natalie1985
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
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Im so sorry, I really dont know what to say....I hope that things work out for you for the best and Im thinking of you at this difficult time...we're all here if you need to vent about anything....sending lots and lots of hugs and support.....stay strong.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
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 Natalie
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Oh no.......
#263973 - 05/17/06 05:06 PM
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ecmmbm
Reged: 02/23/03
Posts: 1622
Loc: North Carolina
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I am heartbroken for you... I completely believe there is always hope and will pray for you both. For right now I"ll just offer big hugs and know that I'm here for you, you know my email. I'm so sorry!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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Shannon...my husband of twenty years has told me that he was leaving me twice; just before our 10th anniversary and then just before our 14th anniversary yet the Lord saw fit to heal our marriage and you know...I couldn't ask for a better friend in my husband right now.
Like Michelle said, there is hope and I too will be praying for you. You have my e-mail too so please, if there is anything that I can do, please let me know.
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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Shannon,
I'm very sorry to hear that but I have been in your shoes. Divorce is always hard, whether you're leaving or being left. And it will hurt for a long time. I'm not telling you that to make you feel bad, simply to let you know that it's normal to mourn the loss of your love for quite some time.
I was with my ex for 11 years...a month shy of 8 married. He was not home often, he was a partier. He was not a horrible person but a neglectful husband/father. When I started to think about my boys growing up with him as an example of what men do and how women act, I needed to leave.
Although I was the one who left, I still went through a terrible mourning period. I went through a phase where I wasn't taking care of myself. I lost a lot of weight, got very depressed and drank too much on the weekends. I had a black cloud hanging over my head. I started dating and while the guys I dated were nice, I needed something else.
I needed to slow down, appreciate life, my children, and my family. I needed to take care of myself for me and for my kids. Then things started getting better.
Four years later, I found the true love of my life. Now, I've only been with my husband for two years, but this relationship is on such a different level. I didn't meet him until I gave up on dating. Just like they say.
The point of my long story is that things will seem/feel really bad for quite some time. BUT, once you get over the loss of what you thought was so wonderful, you may just end up with something that you could never have imagined before.
There is hope for you! I will be thinking about you. Take some time to yourself if you can. Lean on your friends and family when they offer a shoulder. Don't be too proud to accept help (financially things may be really tough for awhile). Don't be in a hurry to find a replacement for your lost love or a father for your daughter. This will be hard, but in the end you will discover how strong you really can be.
I wish you the best. If you ever have any questions...I've been there and through a lot. I'll be here for you.
Sending hugs.
Lauren
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Glad your back, but sorry to hear about your troubles... sometimes us guys just don't know what's best. It's a long way from Wyoming to Alberta, but a hug and prayers are on the way.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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